Pretty Woman Goes Shopping

Pretty Woman was voted the greatest shopping movie of all time. Of course everyone felt sorry for Julia when she was rebuffed by the snotty sales girl while dressed in her hooker clothes and we all cheered when she went back and stuck it to the bitch.

Yesterday Fabbo and I went shopping to all the hoitty toitty stores down town. Fabbo was totally decked out in yoga wear - having just come from, you guessed it, yoga, and I was in jeans and a t shirt. It was raining when we walked to the mall and honestly, we looked a bit bedraggled. None of the vultures (sales people) descended on us, pegging us for looky-loos I guess until we started pulling suits off the racks left and right.

Finally Mr Fashion is His Life (FIHL) decided to start a room for us. I've never been in Holt Renfrew before and I was quite surprised by how boring and ordinary most of the things were (except the price tags of course). Fabbo tried stuff on but all of the suits made her look like someone's maiden, alternative lifestyle aunt - very depressing. FIHL was okay for fetching us other sizes and such but really he was a big dud, no suggesting stuff, no gushing falsely over how great Fabbo looked in the hideous outfits. Disappointing.

We went across the hall to Blu's - where they must expect a lower class of clientele because the first vulture was all over us like stink on toilet paper. Maybe she looked past our less than stellar outfits and saw us for the diamonds in the rough we are. She tried real hard - putting together little outfits and fetching them to the room for us. Very solicitous and in fact we seemed like the highlight of her day until I burst her bubble. She very nicely asked if we needed a different size in anything to which I replied, "No, everything fits well, its just all ugly!" She didn't have a comeback to that one and we didn't see much of her after that.

There is a store right next to Blu's that has everything unique in it - nothing is a brand name or at least none that I recognize. Fabbo tried on a bunch of stuff but the kicker was the sales lady - she was all funked out and kind of looked like an absent minded librarian. I don't know how fast she thought Fabbo could change or what we were doing in the change room together but she asked us about every 45 seconds if we were okay in there.

Fabbo tried on these pallazo type pants made out of some kind of stretchy but floaty material - when she stretched them out and curtsied I lost it and the sales lady was right there inquiring after our health. I was afraid she was going to bust through the curtain and Heimlich me, falsely believing I was choking on my tongue rather than trying not to snort while I was laughing silently.

Fabbo went home with a funky shirt inspired by the library lady's bohemian attitude - but not "The Outfit". More shopping is in store for us - so watch out vultures - here we come. And we won't be dressed any better next time - but...Fabbo has a platinum visa card so you better be nice to us!