What's with the Fire Extinguisher?

I've got a pain in my leg - not my arse, pay attention - its in my leg. I went for an EMG study, where they put some electrodes on your leg, stick a needle into the muscle and pass copious amounts of electricity through your body. If you survive - then they can figure out what's getting on your nerve.

So I show up at Dr. BM's office (hereafter referred to as BM)and fill out the new patient form. The very first question - before my name or anything else is: "Emergency contact name and phone number". If it's that important for them to know, who should I put down? First Lobster? He's at work, at least 45 minutes away. Should I choose a friend who is close by, who can get there while my hair is still smoking?....

At my work, we give changing instructions to about 50 people a day - "Leave only your underwear, shoes and socks on, everything else off, gown with the opening to the back, housecoat with the opening to the front". Seems clear, yet everyday we get people venturing into the hallway with all manner of bare body parts showing. My particular (un)favorites are the guys who take their underwear off and then sit down with everything on display..."Puleeze, I don't want even a long distance introduction to Mr. Winkie".

Now I know why they screw up - they are focusing intently on something else. I wasn't paying attention to the undressing instructions because I was perseverating on the fact I hadn't shaved my legs - its winter, I need all the extra insulation I can get!!! From now on, unconditional forgiveness for anyone who undresses wrong (except the guys showing off Mr. Winkie).

Half naked, I trot off into the examination room and hop up onto the table next to the magic machine (okay - hop is a bit of an exaggeration, more truthful to say oozed along in a bloblike manner). The first thing my eyes see, right there beside BM's chair, strategically mounted chest high on the wall for instantaneous access, is a full sized, industrial strength fire extinguisher. What the heck is that for? And..what lesson did they painfully learn that demonstrated the need to keep it that handy?

There's a table with a variety of instuments, some innocuous like the tuning fork and the reflex hammer but there is also:

Where is BM going to stick that?????

The end result? I have meralgia paresthetica, which is sort of equivalent to gut fat induced carpal tunnel syndrome in my hip. Since I haven't gained any weight...I'm guessing my boobs have sagged into my pants.